From The Sublime To The Ridiculous

Sometimes a film comes along, like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, that restores your faith in the often vacuous, money-grubbing film industry. Michel Gondry’s Science of Sleep did just that: intelligent, inventive, thought provoking, all the things a film should be. But sometimes a film comes along that is so unintelligent, so uninventive, so brain-atrophying it makes you want to suffocate yourself in your popcorn. No prizes for guessing which category the newly released Epic Movie falls into.

I wanted to like Epic Movie, I really did. I like the occasional bit of low-brow tripe along with my Napoleonic portraiture and high-concept installation art. I love a good old spoof. Hell, I’ve watched the Naked Gun trilogy and Blazing Saddles more times than I’d care to admit. So, believe me when I say that I really, really, really wanted to like Epic Movie. Really.

Epic Movie comes from the team who brought you Scary Movies 1,2,3, and 4, Not Another Teen Movie, and Date Movie. The first two Scary Movies and Teen Movie are amusing in their own puerile way, but by the time Scary Movies 3 and 4 and Date Movie rolled along the franchise was beginning to smack of desperation and yes, the aforementioned money-grubbing. Now we have Epic Movie a last (we can only hope) ditch attempt to cash in on the success of its older siblings. It is unrelentingly, unapologetically, unashamedly ghastly from start to finish. I haven’t seen actors so embarrassed to be part of a film since Ewan Macgregor cringed his way through Attack of The Clones. Jayma Mays does her best Anna Farris impression but whereas Farris treads the fine line between air-head bimbo and shrewd comedienne, Mays falls off the tight rope altogether. She pouts, and lisps, and minces, and trips, all the while failing to elicit so much as a giggle from the audience.

The publicity bumf credits Epic Movie as ‘a comedic satire of films that are large in scope, reputation and popularity.’ So that’d be: Da Vinci Code, Lord of The Rings, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean etc. Depressingly, whenever the writers run out of Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka, or Narnia jokes they resort to fart gags and getting-kicked-in-the-balls jokes, the last refuges of the comedically bankrupt. There was one prolonged ‘humorous’ urinating sequence that actually had me trying to slash my wrists with the edge of my Calippo.

So, what’s the verdict? As a film Epic Movie is irredeemably awful but as a lesson in 101 Ways to Kill Yourself Using Only Cinema Snack Products, it is truly a master class.